A Year Ago

Wrote this last year, published but then had regrets bc I was so emotional. Lmao. Pero, publishing this again cause why not. So hello from 2022-still-struggling-to-prove-I-deserve-my-slot-here-me 😂

    While I was checking on my Instagram and looked up at my friends' stories, I saw one that shared a photo of the list of accepted applicants on this medical school, which made me realize "Isang taon na pala." So I had the urge to write this down. Sorry na agad kasi this will be messy and may contain grammatical and spelling errors lol but I'll fix it after I am done through all the stuff I have to do.

    One year ago, I can vividly remember how hard I was praying, and begging God for an admission acceptance to one of the medical schools I highly, highly look up to. It was the sign I was asking for; whether I am about to become a doctor or try again next year to this particular school. The reason why I wanted to go to this medical school is because of its excellence which they are known for, and of course, the tuition compared to other schools is so much cheaper. In short, it was the only school we can afford among the most excellent medical schools we know. But no, I did not even qualify for an interview. I almost lost hope on the day I found out. But despite all these, one year ago today, it was the day I never thought that can lead to where I am right now. 

    It was around 6pm on this day, when I found out that I passed the admission process at my dream medical school which also has my dream workplace. I applied knowing I had literally zero chance of going even if I get accepted since mahal ang tuition, mahal means we cannot afford it but if you'll compare it to other schools, almost the same lang din naman. I was so happy, grateful that God gave me this. Again, I thought of it as a sign but I cannot help but worry at the same time, "Nakapasa nga ako kaso paano naman yung tuition ko?" this thought occupied my mind that day forward.

    Just a bit of flashback, back in my undergrad, I got good grades, got awards and certificates. Lots of them. My GWA met the required grade in order to qualify for a latin honor, but no. I did not graduate with a latin honor despite that (I got grades lower than 2 kasi, tbh it is very frustrating). It was a big deal for me back then, because I know there are schools that give scholarships to people who graduated with a latin honor. It hurt so much because for me back then because it can greatly affect scholarship opportunities in medical school. I came to a point wherein I was questioning God if everything I did was not enough in order for me to get into medschool, but you know God works in mysterious ways talaga. So if you'll ask me, if I still regret and feel frustrated up until to this day? I'd say yes a bit haha but when I look where I am right now, no not really.

    Back to that day, I kept searching the internet for scholarship opportunities. Believe me I stayed up all night almost every day just to find one until one day, I finally did. The process was not easy. I mean all you have to do is comply, submit the necessary documents and wait if you qualified for an interview, but the waiting game was the hardest. Doubts, fears, uncertainty, name it. I had it all. I waited around 2-3 months for the results, and tada. I got accepted! Full scholarship, at my dream medical school, at my future dreeeeaaaaam workplace!! I cannot thank God so much enough. I literally prayed every time I thought of it, and be like, if this is what He also wants for me, then go for it please, but if it is not, I would still accept it and trust the process and yay, I AM HERE!!!

    Currently, I am in my first year and quite near the end of it. I cannot believe how God can turn your situation that quickly. Trust the process lang talaga, pray and also work for it din. I am so grateful. It was such a roller coaster ride of emotions. Doubts, fears, and uncertainty is still here but whatever. God gave this to me, and I cannot waste this opportunity. There were a lot of downs and medschool + the setup we have will really put you in a test of determination. You just have to fight it and you need a solid ground to hold on to. 

    Final exams are approaching, and I am really anxious about it since super dami ng coverage and I really hope I can get through this, my and classmates and I can get though this. Pero yeah, lalaban ulit. 

Paulit-ulit ko tong ipaglalaban and ipagdarasal just like I did before.

Paulit-ulit kitang ipaglalaban.

Paulit-ulit kitang ipagdarasal.