Another side of the story: Truth of being alone

Pretending you are happy but you are not.

Truth of being alone

I dont know if its just me or not. I dont know if its the darkness surrounding me that is making me feel alone or the thought I am. I dont know if its the silence that filled up my room or the sound of the barking dogs out my window that is making me feel what I am feeling. I dont know anything, anymore.

Sometimes, you will get confuse over a lot of things. When you got the wrong signal, misunderstanding happens. When you got the wrong detail, shit happens and finally when you got all the words left unsaid, you end up crawling in your bed at night thinking all of the things you wish you should have said and done. Sometimes, knowing something is what makes you lonely.

When you are fed up for 12 years by being all alone, youre going to end up thinking about all the moments you wish there is someone with you. Youre going to end up thinking about those late night movie marathon with somebody. Youre going to be fed by your imagination, by your desire to have someone beside you all the time. More importantly, what I had realized is that, everybody come and go. You must learn how to let go and not be attached with someone though youve known that person for years cause at some point, that person is going to leave and forget about you.

I get irritated when somebody fantasize about the thought of being alone where in fact they are actually thinking about the thought of being by yourself, all alone in a room with no one to talk to. They are actually thinking about spending the nights lying in bed, facing your damn mobile phone while searching for something to search for. They are actually thinking about not using your mouth for speaking the whole damn day, when at some time you ended up talking to yourself. Dont you people love company? Dont you just love knowing there is this one person or people beside you all the time? Dont you love being taken care of? Dont you love somebody who's willing to listen to your nonsense stories? Well, trust me. Being alone is lonely. Cliche warning, no man is an island. That proves it.

If I would be given the chance, I swear I would love someone to have my back. Maybe that is why people misunderstood me for being clinging and dependent at times. Ironic isnt it? When youre all alone at home and youre so independent but when youre with people all you do is cling and be dependent? You still fantasize about being alone? Come on. Think again.

But of course there are bright sides of being alone. You get independent. You got to do all the chores at times you want. You can leave all the dishes in the sink for days. You are not forced to clean and vaccuum the place. Of course, youre free to do whatever you want and I cannot anymore think of any positive things of being alone like there's more negative thoughts than the opposite ones. Well, if you can think of any positive outcomes, then name it, and we'll call it. Argument over.

But there's more than that. There's always more than that. Want to be alone? I dare you to think again because Im telling you, its going to take you a lot of courage in order to live with that way.